I feel it
for the first time
during the quiet pause at noon day
as we gather 'round for the reading of the Word.

It's a definite little fluttering of life
deep within the secret place of my womb
and I smile quietly to myself
reveling in the feeling.

It's been so long since
I've experienced this special joy
this delight
this unique form of communication.

My hand finds the place over swelling womb
and I silently thank my God
for His promise of new life
the opportunity to experience this joy

yet again.

17 weeks pregnant

Finding Joy Fridays is sponsored by my dear friend Camie @ My Life in a Blog. Head on over to her blog for more links to finding joy.

I've been busy relaxing these past two weeks, digitally scrapbooking all of my pictures from last year. Wanna see them? I'll be posting a set every day or so on the blog I created just for them. Come see!

New Green

"And Spring arose on the garden fair,
Like the Spirit of Love felt everywhere;
And each flower and herb on Earth's dark breast
rose from the dreams of its wintry rest."

~Percy Bysshe Shelley, "The Sensitive Plant"

*****

Woke up to snow this morning, but the sun soon appeared and turned the white to shimmering droplets on new green in my garden. It's the first day of Spring tomorrow and I'm so happy!

Photo's of Yarrow, Bachelor Button, Maltese Cross,
Tulips, Snow in Summer, and Clustered Bellflower

Soak up the Sun

From Friday's photo's at the Park with Friends

So thankful for the amazing Spring weather we've been having here the last few days.
Soaking in the warm sunshine at the park on Friday, and again with just us, Dear Husband, the 3 boys and I, at a different park in the coulee's on Saturday, and a long 6km walk with another dear friend on Sunday.

And today?

Well, though I'm not outside, I did whisk up the blinds of our bedroom at 7:30 this morning and let the sun pore in as I organized ALL mine and my hubby's clothes. His were easy. Mine, well, lets just say it took me about 2 hours to go through it all and decide what to put away until after the baby, what to get rid of and what to keep for my pregnancy. I was amazed at the large box of clothes that I had to bring down stairs after I was all done! It feels SO good though! Then I went through the rest of the room dusting and tidying the drawers in the night stands and then washed the hardwood floor. So that room is done for spring cleaning! Except for the windows, I'll do in and out at the same time....when I'm ready.

Then! I was so ambitious that I cleaned and organized my linen closet (which had become much more than just a linen closet). And cleaned both bathrooms from top to bottom!
I'm almost done all my laundry which I've been working on amongst my other things all day. And I actually got to hang out some of my clothes outside today! Just over the patio railing, though... must remember to ask hubby to put up a new clothes line.

And what were the boys doing all this time? Playing outside for most of the morning, followed by a quick hour before lunch of some Phonics and Math and then out the door again. They just came in about 45 minutes ago and after tidying up the living room for me, they're now watching their movie for the day.

All in all a very grand day so far, all I gotta do yet is make a yummy dinner after I fold the last few loads of laundry and then I'll rest.

I love days like this. It's just been so long since I've actually been eager to clean.

Beauty at the Park

An impromptu photo session with my gorgeous friend and her three beautiful children at the park yesterday. I gave her the hats that I had knit for her and the colors looked so great on them I just had to get a few shots.

Have I mentioned I'm loving my new camera?

Thanks for letting me take pictures, Erin!

"150"

he says, "sounds good."

And I smile, nod, straining to hear around his murmured words.

"Normal's between 120-160."

And I breathe shallow, soaking in the swish, swish sound, the heartbeat of my baby.

Then all too soon, the button is switched to off, the jelly is wiped away and I think, "That's it? Just a few seconds? Do you not understand that I have been waiting weeks for this moment?"

I stare longingly at the Doppler, resting silent on his desk and I wish I could hear that beautiful sound again.

He doesn't understand, obviously, it's not his baby that has been longed for, prayed for, cried for. He's just the doctor, listening to the heartbeats of countless little ones every month.

I pull back the curtain that hid me from the faces of my loved ones. Search husbands eyes, asking, "Did you hear?"

"Clear as day" he says, and smiles.

I resented that curtain. I wanted to see the wonder on the faces of my children when they heard the heartbeat of their new brother or sister tucked within their mother's belly.

The doctor is asking questions, something about "will you choose to abort if tests show a baby with downs-syndrome, spina bifida, etc. etc." and he goes on and on while I shake my head through a haze of disgust and horror that anyone could even think to kill their own baby just because they thought it wouldn't be "perfect".

I am insulted and pained that he would ask and decline to even be tested. Doesn't he realize how I've ached to have another child?

Then I realize it's just protocol. He has to ask, though he knows our answer. I nod, okay, I understand... but I still hurt.

This child is being formed by our heavenly Father. (Psalm 139:13)

We then go on to other things. When do I want an ultrasound? I say I'll wait 'till 19 weeks.

It's booked and we leave the office, heading out into the sunshine of another beautiful March morning and husband says to the children, "Well boys, what do you think?"

We hadn't let them know about the baby until now.

"Mom's gonna have a baby" Jayden says. And that's it. No smiles or hugs or dancing from them. It must need to soak in a bit yet.

But the response of my loving husband was one I'll treasure. A simple hug and kiss by the car door and a whispered, "I'm so happy!"

April 14th is the scheduled day for the ultrasound.

I am excited.

Photo: 13 weeks pregnant

Treasured Moments

I captured this perfect moment, not planned or posed at all, of Jayden reading to his brothers in the late afternoon light of our bedroom.

He actually asked me this afternoon while I was busy preparing dinner if he should read another chapter in the book he's reading right now and I said, "Sure, go ahead."

And then I came across this precious scene and was thankful my camera was just steps away.

Among the many special moments that happened throughout this beautiful, quiet day, I absolutely treasure moments like these.

*****

What was one of your favorite moments today?
Please share.