Wednesday, November 19, 2008

He's just so much like me...

Lately my middle son Marcus(4) has been getting up in the morning and going straight to the bathroom to do this...

Yes. Slick down his hair. I cringe when I see it because I think it looks silly. But really he is just so much like me when I was a little girl (just in a boy sort of way). I have to force myself to not make negative comments about it because he really thinks that it makes him look nice. I did the same things as a little girl... I remember. I shudder now to think of the funny ways I dressed or did my hair... but I was really just trying to look (what I thought was) my best!

Isnt' he cute? I just wouldn't want him to do his hair like that in public. You know where that stems from, right? I feel too often that my children are a reflection of who I am and that if they look or act silly then I must be a silly mom. I know this is wrong thinking. My children are their own person and not my "possessions".

Even though this post is about outward appearance it also has a lot to do with behaviour, as well. I want my children's hearts. I want them to do things for me because they love me and want to please me, not just because "Mom said, and I better obey her, or else...".

Last week, when I was talking about homeschooling I mentioned that I was reading an article (a 26 page article) and that it was really helping me. I wasn't going to bother you with a link but here it is anyway! It's mainly about how to have your children's heart, about not over-sheltering, and about letting them see us have a genuine relationship with our loving Saviour.

This homeshooling father writes that there is no one way to raise our children except to trust in the Lord. We so often are looking for a proven formula and hope to find it through self help or parenting books. Though these may help, they are never the "be all end all". Having a deeply true and right relationship with our Father God (one that shines through to our children in our every day life) and trusting in Him for our children, while still gently guiding them in right decision making, is the only way.

How does this tie into the part about Marcus slicking down his hair? Well, I just feel that if I make an issue about it for my own sake (because I don't want people to think I do his hair funny) that, even though this is a little thing, it could pertain to bigger issues in the long run. I want him to know that he is okay. That I love him and except him for who he is no matter what.

I hope this all makes sense... it seems to me I'm just rambling. But if I've peaked your interest, go read the article and then let me know what you think...


  1. ...and you tried to make me believe that you didn't have a gift for writing!?! Then what is this if its not just plain good writing. You go girl! You can do it too! We will all be writing books someday.

  2. Ooo katrina, I had to laugh when I read Traceys comments, it is just what I think too! How many times will I say this??? I LOVE your blog and I love the way we sisters can all keep up with each other. by the way I am trying to convince mom to join us... so help me out ok?

  3. I have read that article - but it was a while ago, and being midnight right now, I'm not going to refresh my memory!

    But it is hard to let go of our expectations for our kids (that they represent us in a favourable way) and let God have His own way with them.

    I think his hair looks really cute. :)


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