Monday, February 9, 2009

Love Amazing

Once upon a time she dreamed...
of babies and blankets, of home and happiness,
playing for hours in attic room were vaulted ceiling hugged in close,
and rows of shoe boxes along the wall held baby dolls
tucked tight for naps.

Then she grew, put dolls away
for bigger and better...her prince had come.
Four years later, happiness...finally... a precious tiny baby.
And as years went by, another and another...
and then, lo and behold... another!

But something happened, then,
to shatter hopes and scatter dreams.
That little treasure tucked within...
passed away... and life would never be the same.

Through darkness of sorrow, though, and wounded soul,
she felt comfort and love like never before.
That love, of her Heavenly Father,
so strong and pure, so true and gentle.

And she knows he will never leave her, so she lives again,
gathering pieces, thanking him for her earthly prince
and their heritage of three,
resting in her Father's arms, looking to the day...

That day when she will see her child
for the first time
in that beautiful place
of happily ever after.


On July 15 of 2007 I miscarried at 10 weeks gestation. I have wanted to write my feelings about this ever since, in a way that would show just how much I felt the powerful presence of God and his amazing love during this heartache in my life... and so this is it. I am thankful to finally have it written out... my heart thoughts put into words... so that I will never forget how deep is the Father's love for me.


Related post by L.L. Barkat at Seedlings in Stone.

Photo: I'm on my way to the ball... June 2008


  1. Katrina, this is beautiful! I still haven't been able to put my shattered hope and dreams into words like this this. Although I too look forward to meeting my three little ones in heaven someday.

  2. No words really (sorrow silences), except to say I'm here at your feet listening to the story, and glad for the telling of it...

  3. what a precious way to express all that you feel and His love...I am sorry for your loss, friend.

  4. I'm here via LL.

    This is a beautiful expression of the nearness of your Lord in your time of sorrow.

    I especially like the way you repeated the image of being tucked in and tucked away.

  5. How lovely. I'm glad you were able to express your heart and let it out. I miscarried two times before I had my first child, so I understand your feelings and your sorrow friend. Thank you for sharing.

  6. Dear Katrina,

    I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing such a tender expression of grief and hope. So thankful, with you, for the Father's deep love.

  7. Katrina,

    I'm glad you did. It is so nice to have something tangible to remember baby by - so loved and cherished.
    The day to meet will be a day of rejoicing indeed!

    Love you:-)

  8. This is beautiful! I had a lot of miscarriages before I had Cayla and Lizzy. I have wondered so much about them, but I'm thankful nevertheless to one day see them again full of life.

  9. I dropped in via L.L.'s blog. This is one subject I haven't dared touch in poetry yet, but I am glad you did. I lost my first last year... the date of the necessary surgery afterward is 3 days from now. I'm now 14 weeks pregnant again and afraid of another loss. That's part of why I don't want to touch it. However, I am thinking maybe your courage will spur mine. Thanks for putting your sorrow into beautiful words.

  10. Oh, sweet thankful you were able to express this is such a beautiful, meaningful way.

    Can't wait for the day you get to meet and embrace that little one as our Father embraces you both:)

    Thank you for sharing this part of your story with us.

  11. Katrina - this was such a beautiful poem. I felt honored to see inside your soul and I'm so glad you found words to express your heart. And what a day it will be, when you meet your littlest love in the arms of your Lord. Face to face with them both for the first time.

    Hugs to you.

  12. Katrina...
    That must have been both painfully hard and deeply satisfying to put into words so beautifully what you went through and felt and how He carried you - and still does to this day. A powerful testimony
    I, also, like so many others, have a little one waiting for me in heaven... Can't wait to meet him (her?)
    You are not alone in this and my prayer for you is for continued comfort, hope faith and abundant joy
    Huge hugs to you my friend

  13. Sweet Katrina, This is beautiful... to see the pain you went through and yet it was still full of hope. So thankful that He carried you through...

    Hugs, my friend.

  14. Vulnerable, painful, hopeful words. What a privilege to read them. Thanks for sharing.
    In Jesus...

  15. Such happiness, sorrow, and peace wrapped beautifully in your post. So sorry for your loss. I, too believe, someday I will be reunited with those loved ones who have gone before me.

  16. these are brave words, katrina. i dare not dilute them with mine. but if i may, i would tell you how much the weaving of your personal sorrow and faith invite me to go to higher places with Him. such is the gift you've left here. i treasure it!

  17. Thank you... all of you... I appreciate your words so much. Your words of encouragement are deeply treasured.

  18. Katrina,

    Beautiful photograph.
    Tenderly written poetry.

    Blessings to you each and everyday.
    Deanna from the Kansas Flinthills

  19. sweet heart,

    I feel so honored to share this with you. He is the only One who can comfort in times like these, but I offer my love.

  20. Katrina........I often forget your pain.........I have never experienced it..........please understand if I seem callous.
    I am glad you put words to this 'cause I have been waiting for you to someday tell what was on your heart. I believe that this will be a big part of your healing...writing this beautiful poem in memory of my neice/nefew.

  21. Dear sweet Tracy... you've never been anything but loving and good to me through all of this...
    I understand about putting words to it... that is why I have finally done so... I knew I needed to...and am so thankful that I did it.
    I love you,
    your sister Katrina

  22. What a beautiful poem my friend! Sometimes it can be difficult to understand if you haven't walked that path. Thank you for sharing with us and helping us to understand. Bless you my friend!

  23. katrina this is the most beautiful picture ever! It looks almost fairyish, other amazing. And your poem is wonderful too... I love you so much... and am praying for a baby for you soon...

  24. What a day that will be when you and so many others who have lost babies see them for the first time...thanks for sharing. ((hugs))

  25. Though I know you experienced sorrow, your poem is beautiful. How wonderful our Savior is.

    This is the first time I've visited your blog. What a lovely and warm place! Your heart for the Lord shines.


  26. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for writing about it...what comfort we have in the Lord and in knowing that one day all will be restored to His perfect will!

  27. A beautiful, poignant poem Katrina. I'm so sorry you never got to meet that little one, but rejoice with you that one day you will. Such peace comes from knowing that the promises of God are true.
    Thank you for sharing your precious heart.

  28. This was a beautiful and amazing way to share your thoughts and feelings. I'm glad that God gave you an outlet to release such feelings. Stay Bless and Stay Strong!!

  29. This is beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing. It really touched me, as I lost a sweet baby girl at 19 weeks gestation. It is so refreshing to feel God wrap His arms around you and tangibly feel his comfort and love during such a devastating time. Thank you for putting yourself out there.

  30. Words in a comment box seem so inadequate in moments like this. Sending a hug your way.

  31. Thanks for sharing this. I've had 3 losses, so I can relate a lot to what you've written. hugs!

  32. beautifully expressed, katrina.

    thank you for sharing yourself.

  33. Katrina, you have such a poet's heart. To make words encompass such pain so beautifully ... masterfully done. May you be blessed.

  34. You are beautiful inside and out. I understand intimately and love you all the more for this bond we share. He speaks through you!

  35. What a beautiful post. I too have a little one waiting in Heaven and reading your words brought the fresh joy of seeing him face to face.


I appreciate your thoughts and read each and every one... thank you!